Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Back on the wagon…

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Well, what a weekend that was! We stayed with some friends for the Bank Holiday weekend and all good intentions went out of the window. It’s always hard when someone else has influence over your meals for a period of time (i.e. when you’re staying at someone’s house). Our friends were actually pretty fantastic about all my ridiculous dietary requirements, and I could have made some MUCH worse choices, but the fact of the matter is I drank a fair bit, and I don’t drink often, so this won’t have helped!! Empty calories… what were you thinking, Weighty?

Aaanywaaaaayyy.. Let’s sweep it all under the carpet eh? What’s done is done and can’t be undone, so learn from it and just don’t do it again!!

Today I woke up in a contemptible mood, as I didn’t want to go back to work after 4 lovely days off. I find that the best way to deal with this is to sulk as much as possible until the other half gets so fecked off with you that he just stops speaking to you altogether, and then you can blame your bad mood on him and not the fact that you can’t cope with going to work. Very effective!

So – I had to get up early today as my workmate who gives me a lift in is on annual leave and I have to walk into work (counting up those activity points as I type). I didn’t even bother with makeup today as I have no meetings and quite frankly, if you’re going to come and hunt me down in my own office then you take your life in your own hands when it comes to looking at my scary fizzog. Initially I quite enjoyed the walk to work this morning – it takes about ½ an hour and I used to walk there and back before I started getting a lift. But there are a few things that I had forgotten about walking to work, that are not so good. I’ll run you through a few pros and cons.

Positive things about walking to work –
1) It’s a nice walk, encompassing a river, a park and a 15-minute chat with my lovely other half.
2) I feel good about burning fat and earning activity points while I’m doing it.
3) I get to listen to Chris Moyles on Radio 1 on the way in to work on my headphones (in the car we listen to a dance music station, which is a bit much for my comatose state in the morning).
4) Did I mention those activity points?
5) Erm… clutching at straws here… Oh! I get to look at the nice wedding dresses in the shop I pass on the way (oh no wait, I can do that in the car...)
6) That’s definitely it. Bladdy rabbish.

Negative things about walking to work –
1) I have to get up earlier, and I love my sleep…
2) I can’t wear pretty shoes to work as I have to be able to walk in them for at least ½ an hour without them rubbing (I refer you to an earlier blog about my stoopid diabetic feet).
3) As a consequence, my clothes get less girly (you can’t wear a skirt with flat shoes without looking like you work on a psychiatric ward), so I end up wearing my trainers walking in (and you can’t wear a skirt with trainers without looking like you belong on a psychiatric ward…) and a pair of pants. By the time I’ve put this shexshy combo on I feel so unfeminine it’s all I can do to stop myself from chucking on a potato sack on top and legging it out of the house. I usually end up opting for something shroud-like over me pants. Yummy.
4) I live in Greater Manchester (not renowned for its sun drenched beaches), and the walk to work in the wind makes the skin on my face really dry. By the time the weekend comes around my cheeks are bright red and my skin is so dry and battered from the elements that I look like a cross between an old fish wife and, erm… a fish. I then have to buff off all the scales and spend all weekend looking like a tomato until my skin recovers a bit. Then it’s back to walking into work on Monday, and the scaliness returns. I’m not suite sure what clothes go with “Scaly” or Tomato” in order to maximise this look to its full potential. Think I’ll give Gok Wan a call…
5) If it’s not windy, then it’s raining, and this means you end up looking like you’ve swam in to work. And, as mentioned in a previous blog, if your shoes get wet too then you will invariably smell like you’re wearing Calvin Klein’s “Eau de Wet Dog” for the rest of the day.
6) Contending with the wind or the rain is unbelievably the best-case scenario. If it’s raining
and windy, then you might as well face the fact that you’re going to arrive at work looking like Arthur Scargill. Your parting will shift to just below your left ear and the rain will ensure your hair will be stuck there for the rest of the day. Even if you have an umbrella, there’s really no point holding it up while it’s flapping about in the air, as it’s permanently inside out and is actually assisting the wind in pushing you backwards. Ah well, at least it makes you feel a bit lighter.
7) With all this wind and rain on your face, there’s absolutely no point in putting any slap on. By the time you’ve got to work your eyeliner is on your cheeks and your hair is stuck to your lipstick. You’re best off going with the “pale faced and slightly knackered” look than “Arthur Scargill Meets Alice Cooper”.
8) *Newsflash*Newsflash*Newsflash*Newsflash*…FAT GIRLS SWEAT!!! When you’re fat, and you do ANY TYPE OF MOVEMENT, you sweat. For example, if I get up to go to the freezer to get a chocolate brownie desert I usually have to use it to cool my head on the walk back to the couch. If I go upstairs for a wee, I’m grateful I’m not a bloke when I get there as it means I get to have a sit down. A walk to work is always going to result in what can only be described as “backsweat”. Even if I set off three hours earlier, I would still end up overheated when I got to work. And there’s nothing more attractive than taking your coat off and turning round to sit at your desk only to reveal to your colleagues a big sweaty portion on the back of your top. Which confirms their long standing suspicions that you’re just a big fat fatty. And you sweat. Euuurrrgghhh. Even worse is when you wear a skirt in an attempt to be feminine, by the time you’ve got to work the friction between your thighs is really building up, so much so that the others in the office sack off using the toaster for breakfast and just stick their bread on your inner thigh instead. And then you have to walk around like John Wayne for the rest of the day, and there’s nothing feminine about looking like you’ve lost your horse.

So, as you can tell, walking is not my favourite way to get to work. Nevertheless, I put on my most unflattering outfit and set off. I got to work in record time (with the sweat patch to prove it) and had breakfast at my desk.


1 medium bowl Shredded Wheat Bitesize 2.5
1/4 pint semi-skimmed milk 1
Subtotal 3.5

It was a very unproductive day today… everyone was still in Bank Holiday mode in the office, but there was loads of work to catch up on so the morning flew by and before I knew it, a butty shop run was imminent. One colleague was in the need of a “Cholesterol Sandwich” (that’s our nickname for this beast of a sandwich from our local butty shop that would kill you with a bite…it’s basically a full English breakfast on a muffin… wrong wrong diddly wrong). It sounded very tempting, but instead I opted for a ham salad on a brown muffin. When it came it had egg on it, and I got annoyed as I’d have to count it…sneaky egg seems to be my nemesis at the moment, it’s everywhere!

Lunch -

1 bag Mini Hoops, salt & vinegar flavour 1
1 medium slice Ham, premium (honey roasted/smoked ham) 1
1 medium wholemeal muffin 2.5
1 portion Mixed salad leaves 0
1/2 medium egg 0.5
Subtotal 5

On the way home from work I meet TOH at Tesco and we investigate the reduced section. I sometimes think that TOH has an addiction - if he passes a supermarket and doesn’t go and check out the reduced section, he breaks out into cold sweats, shakes uncontrollably and I am informed that if the symptoms continue it’ll end with internal combustion. Luckily he has never actually passed a supermarket without checking out the reduced section, and so my fiancĂ© remains intact. As a consequence, most of our meals are quite diverse in their make-up, and sometimes, as I’m eating pilchard pie with a cranberry sauce soup starter, I wish I could have a normal diet. Still, I tell myself that at least we are saving money.
Tonight’s offering is decidedly more normal. We manage to get some salmon fillets, so I cook them with lime and coriander, some reduced veggies and salad. I chucked in a jacket spud and voila… Dinner for two for £2.47! Bargain. We also happen upon some sweet chilli and kaffir lime sauce- it’s gorgeous and can make even lettuce leaves appealing (think there may be some witchcraft involved here)


130 g fresh salmon 4
1 small jacket potato 2
1 portion Mixed salad leaves 0
1 medium carrot 0
1 medium portion french beans 0
1 medium portion sugar snap peas 0
2 tablespoon Baby Corn Cobs 0
2 serving Thai Sweet Chilli Sauce with Kaffir Lime 0.5
1 portion Laughing Cow Light 0.5
Subtotal 7

After tea I must be exhausted as I sit down on the sofa and fall asleep within about ten minutes. Well, I’m either exhausted or bored to fricking tears as TOH plays “Call of Duty 4”. Honestly, the man-hours my fella has put in saving the world from terrorists and goblins, or scoring goals for England, and has he received even one single honour from the Queen? It’s a travesty.

So- this is more or less the end of the night for me. I wake up momentarily at about ten, and have a bit of a treat…I have some WW hula-hoops and a reduced fat choccy bar, so my choice of snack could have been a lot worse, and I do still have the points available. I tell myself this snack is absolutely necessary, nay vital to survival, as my blood sugar feels low, but the reality is I’m not hungry, nor hypoglycaemic, I’m just a greedy fecker. But right now I don’t have time to deconstruct my psyche, I’m knackered and I’m going to bed. Ta-ta!


1 bag Mini Hoops, salt & vinegar flavour 1
1 portion Reduced Fat Biscuit & Raisin Bar 1.5
Subtotal 2.5

Food POINTS values total used 18
Food POINTS values remaining 6
Activity 60 min Walking briskly (15 minute mile); 4.5
Activity POINTS values earned 4.5

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